So, I was watching a movie, and it had little wooden blocks in the background of one of the scenes, and while it was a very touching scene that was important to the whole plot of the story, I kept getting distracted by the wooden blocks! I kept thinking about my own little blocks that were so much fun! And how everyone probably has some while they're growing up. And this is the poem that resulted... It's funny, I never considered myself a poet. I still don't really. But I write more poems than anything else. I guess some people have their photography blogs, where they capture moments in life that are so precious and beautiful. I like to think I do that, but with words. Probably not as cool, but I can't take pictures to save my life! And I can't tell you how hard it was to type sparkle!

Small wooden blocks,
different colors,
different letters,
and numbers.

Stacked to make words,
stacked to have fun.
Placed with care,
to build a master piece.

Small little hands,
dimpled with youth.
All the world revolves,
around these little blocks.

Innocent little eyes,
laugh with the fun,
and sparkle with love
for little colored blocks.

From the Very Pit of Despair
I suppose now more than ever I can relate to that place, in The Princess Bride, that the albino refers to as "the pit of despair". That horrible place that sucks life, that simply takes your breath away, and that's not a good thing.

I've fallen into such a pit. A place I can't think about without having the urge to vomit. I find it hard to even breath, and when I think about the future, I start to cry. I've found that this pit gaps wider and darker late at night, after everyone I know has gone to bed, and I'm left a lone with my thoughts. It's gotten worse since I've been trying to go to bed earlier, I lay there trying to sleep, but thoughts come rushing in, bombarding my belief that yes, I'm "over it".

It's raining... Most people find that depressing, and I guess I do too right now. But, I think the best thing about the rain, is when the sun finally does come back, and shines on everything that's wet, and brings it to life. Everything is clean and the light reflects off all the water, and it's a whole new world. I'm trying to look at this experience as something like that. Although parts of this is so hard to deal with, the sun will come out, and I'll be able to see how much the rain helped, and how much I have left to grow. So I'm putting back on a happy face, determined to smile and enjoy the rain!

So, while running today I thought of some pretty nice one liners. Random, I know, but what else am I supposed to think about while running? I've decided that it's time to get back into shape, and not just by loosing weight and starting to exercise again! It's like a full body/spirit makeover! I'm sore and tired and to the point that it's so hard I'm ready to quit, but I'm almost over the hill! Hopefully it's the very top hill and not just a foothill that still has a mountain behind it. This is why I think of one liners while exercising. because I need them!

Sometimes all you can do is look ahead and keep running.

It's not so much the distance, but the time.

When it hurts the most - that means it's working!

So for lack of something to write about, and for the fun of it, I am moving my 100 facts about myself from my facebook to here. Maybe I'll be up to snuff again in awhile to actually be able to be creative enough to write. I've had a cold for the past three days and still trying to get over a break up, so...

1. I broke my shoulder once - I was doing a handstand...
2. Olivia and I used to be pretty good at doing handstands until that night.
3. Even though I say that I don't over and over, I really do want to have kids.
4. Sometimes I can't help feeling like a complete loser.
5. I spend way too much time on facebook.
6. I cry very easily over other peoples problems.
7. I like to pretend I'm tough, and I never cry over my own problems.
8. One day I'm going to crack, and I'm scared what it's going to be like.
9. I only have one regret in my life.
10. Conversation hearts are the only reason I let Valentine's Day exist.

11. I talk in my sleep.
12. If Mr. Darcy really existed, I'd be his number one stalker.
13. I love Jane Austen's stories.
14. I hate the expectations that fictions has given men. They're impossible.
15. Until I meet a man that meets these expectations, I won't get married.
16. I'm lactious intolerant.
17. But I dip my PB and J's in milk before I eat them.
18. I can't open sealed jars for the life of me.
19. I love being outside!
20. Accents are hot,

21. One day I want to be someone worth while.
22. I love 80's music.
23. Recently I've also acquired a taste for Irish bands....
24. I hate cold weather.
25. The zoo has become one of my favorite places ever.
26. I have naturally curly hair that bothers me to no end, but I won't trade it for anything!
27. It's official that I can't stay depressed for very long.
28. I'm easily entertained.
29. And very easily distracted.
30. I love comfortable silences. Like at testimony meetings...

31. I love being spontaneous and unpredictable.
32. I taught myself how to play the piano.
33. I'm fascinated by blood and gore.
34. Queasy isn't something I get very often at all.
35. I bite my nails when I'm anxious.
36. You can probably get me to do anything as long as I'm wearing rubber gloves.
37. If I told you what I have done with rubber gloves, you'd be sick.
38. I love lame jokes!
39. I've actually been to the principal's office once.
40. Chocolate can fix anything.

41. I think the safest place I can be is wrapped in one of my mom's hugs.
42. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm still a little girl, without responsibilities.
43. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
44. The atonement is the greatest blesssing ever.
45. I am a child of God.
46. I love temples!
47. My favorite scripture stories are about Esther and Ruth.
48. My favorite Hymns are #284 and #335
49. I judge people by the socks they wear.
50. I'm a blonde in disguise.

51. A baby laughing is the best sound in the world.
52. I love rain.
53. I trip walking on flat surfaces.
54. I've had my heart broken twice.
55. I own more black shirts than any other color.
56. I'm a neat freak.
57. I have asthma.
58. I loose chapstick faster than anything.
59. I've been mattress surfing.
60. I love John Wayne movies.

61. I hate shopping.
62. Jamba Juice is amazing!
63. I love roller coasters.
64. If I'm mad at you, buy me cotton candy.
65. I miss roller blading...
66. I used to be a tomboy. Still kinda am.
67. Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney princess.
68. Sometimes I pretend life is a fairy tale.
69. I think reality is taken way to seriously.
70. I'm one of the shrotest in my family.

71. I have seventeen brothers and sisters.
72. I'm proud of where I come from!
73. I used to think 16 years old was a prime age.
74. I love mountain biking, even though I wreck -alot.
75. I love swinging.
76. Sometimes I think up great proposals. If you ever need an idea, drop me a line!
77. One of my worst fears is drowning. I hate having my head underwater.
78. I don't like insects, or snakes.
79. I own a puncuation book I read for fun.
80. I'm a daddy's girl.

81. Spinich and artichoke dip is the best thing EVER! Try it!
82. I love popcorn.
83. I want to travel one day.
84. Arlington National Cemetary has a piece of my heart. (refer to #54)
85. My favorite food is Navajo Tacos.
86. I love to eat!
87. When I'm down, I take bubble baths and play the piano.
88. I've eaten rattlesnake.
89. I love lilies and daisies.
90. I love smells and the memories they bring back.

91. I won't ever buy myself an iPod because everyone else has one.
92. I don't like to conform.
93. I almost died from chicken pox when I was little.
94. I'm a firm believer in jumping in with both feet!
95. I miss high school sometimes. Not the drama, just my friends and the good times.
96. I love walking in grass with barefeet.
97. Stars are amazing... They make me feel little and insignificant.
98. I'm not ticklish.
99. All the cars I've ever owned have been wrecked, but not by me.
100. I should probably see a therapist!

I can't think,
I can't breathe,
My heart refuses to beat.
I wish time would stop.

I don't want to move,
I don't want life to keep moving.
Can't time stop and realize,
that my heart is breaking?

I'm tired of the sorrys,
I'm sick of your lies.
I just want to run away,
and hide from the world.

One day this will be though of,
as a time of growth.
A new beginning I won't regret,
but right now, I hurt.