Feeling the Need to Let it all Out!

I realize that this is my second post of the day. But, I've gone weeks without saying anything! Not a word, so I guess I'm going to make up for lost time. So, while the two younger boys are protecting the house from "indians and dinosaurs", I'm going to type away!

The more I think about life, the further away I am from figuring it out. This is how it seems anyway. I still can't decide what I want to do when I "grow up", and the more I think about that, the further away I am from coming up with anything! The conclusion? Stop thinking.

I have come up with one answer though, I absolutely LOVE being a daughter of God. So many times I would have been lost except for this knowledge. Sometimes I do slip. I look in the mirror, and I just want to go find someone and say, "Save me from myself!" Even though I am not conciously doing anything but, hopefully, prevention. However, there have been times when I've gotten home from a meeting or a lesson so filled with the spirit and his love that I look in the mirror, and I can almost see what he sees. He truly "looketh on the heart". I read a talk that Sheri Dew gave the other day, she said something to the effect of the women of the church being the greatest there ever has been, ever. And we're only getting greater. We are truly the noble and great ones, born at this time to raise the even more noble and great ones. And refering to Satan, she said, "It is no secret to him that we are the Lord's secret weapon." And I had a light turn on in my brain.

It's not our perfectly styled hair, mancured nails, flawless skin, perfect figure, or designer clothes that makes us incredible women. When we talk about Madam Curie, or Eve, or Emma Smith, or Queen Esther, we don't talk about what they looked like, what brand of shoes they were wearing, no! We can raise amazing kids without wearing make-up, gel in our hair, and worrying about our weight. We are daughters of God, it's our knowledge of the gospel, our kind hearts, and sweet spirits that matter. Satan is attacking us on every side he can physically, but like anything he does, it doesn't matter!

Yes, I'll admit it, more often then not I am worried about what I look like. I hate that I can't control my acne, that I have frizzy hair, and that I have a few extra pounds on board. But this stops today. From now on, I will try my very best to look at myself and others as who they really are. Children of our Heavenly Father. Sons and daughters that are precious beyond imagining. Kind of like when you see a baby or a little toddler, no matter who they are, you can't help but love them. Why is it harder to do this with adults? It's my new resolve to love everyone, no matter what color, how dirty or ignorant, and how rude they are to me.
So, when I start complaining about someone, or saying I hate them. Slap me! Don't let me get away with it.

Another thing, once I started thinking about this, I realized, nothing else matters. We may be totally in love with that certain movie star, we know how old he is, where he was born, whether he looks best with short hair, brown hair, whiskers, no whiskers, or whatever, but when Christ comes again, where will that put us? All of the sudden the fanatical things that people worry about dim and fade away. I don't know whether Christ looks better with a beard or not, and really, I don't care. I just know that I love him! He is my awesome older brother who thinks I'm worth enough to pay for my sins, and die for me. He did this because he wants to be with me forever. He wants me to be happy. What better person is there?

I am a child of God! I've been singing about it all my life, and now, finally, 21 years, seven months, 16 days, 21 hours, and 49 minutes later, it's sinking in, and this time, I hope it sticks.

20 Questions

For Lack of Something Else to Do!

1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Everything!
2. What have you done in the past week to help someone else? Well, I'm babysitting for my sister right now, I've run numorous errands and done thousdands of chores for my mom....
3. Who is the best-dressed person you know? Hmmm... That is a good question. Probably Amy, I heart her clothes...
4. What is on your nightstand? I don't have a night stand. But my dresser is by my bed, and I keep books and the controllers to my TV, DVD player, and the X-Box 360 right there
5. If you were a cat, what kind of a cat would you be? I'm going to go with a Lion or tiger
6. If you lived in a house surrounded by acres of trees, what particular type of tree would you want flourishing on your land? Weeping willows or quakies...
7. What do you find to be very overrated? Ipods
8. How many email addresses do you have? Like five...
9. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes
10. Would you rather watch football or baseball? Football hands down
11. What is the wallpaper on your phone? The baby mouse I found in my yard and rescued from my dog.
12. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to. I'm not listening to a song
13. Do you use a feed reader? No?
14. What chocolate do you always leave in the box? The lemon ones. Ew
15. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged? Be very happy for him!
16. Do words hurt you? Yes... Even though I pretend they don't.
17. Are you a talker or a listener? It really depends who I'm talking/listening to. There's some people I will gab at all day, and then there are some that I could listen to all day.
18. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Hmmm.. I don't think so.
19. Who is your favorite professional athlete? I used to love Steve Young, I haven't picked a new one since he retired...
20. Which TV show have you seen pretty much every episode of? Alias

The Crazy Places Life Takes You...

Sometimes I wonder if we start life with a road in front of us, and if it's straight, because Heavenly Father knows us and the choices we will make, or if there are cross roads and turns and hills everywhere. I noticed while reading the Book of Mormon this time around, that even though the prophets cry repentence unto the wicked people (don't you just love my Book of Mormon lingo??), it's still prophesied that they'll be destroyed, and it happens. So do we ever fight fate? Is it possible to win? I wonder what would've happened to those people if they would've listened... Or were they already doomed because of those prophecies?

Just some food for thought. I don't like taking it too far because it messes with my head, and I can't figure anything out after. It just makes me wonder if I knew I would be in this exact spot before I came to earth, or if I was supposed to be down some paved road in a whole 'nother state or something. *sigh* I don't regret anything, but I just kinda wonder. It's one of those things I can't help, especially when I'm making new choices and trying to figure my life out. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that life can't be figured out, just experienced. That's my other thought for the day...