aLLie

Feeling the Need to Let it all Out!

I realize that this is my second post of the day. But, I've gone weeks without saying anything! Not a word, so I guess I'm going to make up for lost time. So, while the two younger boys are protecting the house from "indians and dinosaurs", I'm going to type away!

The more I think about life, the further away I am from figuring it out. This is how it seems anyway. I still can't decide what I want to do when I "grow up", and the more I think about that, the further away I am from coming up with anything! The conclusion? Stop thinking.

I have come up with one answer though, I absolutely LOVE being a daughter of God. So many times I would have been lost except for this knowledge. Sometimes I do slip. I look in the mirror, and I just want to go find someone and say, "Save me from myself!" Even though I am not conciously doing anything but, hopefully, prevention. However, there have been times when I've gotten home from a meeting or a lesson so filled with the spirit and his love that I look in the mirror, and I can almost see what he sees. He truly "looketh on the heart". I read a talk that Sheri Dew gave the other day, she said something to the effect of the women of the church being the greatest there ever has been, ever. And we're only getting greater. We are truly the noble and great ones, born at this time to raise the even more noble and great ones. And refering to Satan, she said, "It is no secret to him that we are the Lord's secret weapon." And I had a light turn on in my brain.

It's not our perfectly styled hair, mancured nails, flawless skin, perfect figure, or designer clothes that makes us incredible women. When we talk about Madam Curie, or Eve, or Emma Smith, or Queen Esther, we don't talk about what they looked like, what brand of shoes they were wearing, no! We can raise amazing kids without wearing make-up, gel in our hair, and worrying about our weight. We are daughters of God, it's our knowledge of the gospel, our kind hearts, and sweet spirits that matter. Satan is attacking us on every side he can physically, but like anything he does, it doesn't matter!

Yes, I'll admit it, more often then not I am worried about what I look like. I hate that I can't control my acne, that I have frizzy hair, and that I have a few extra pounds on board. But this stops today. From now on, I will try my very best to look at myself and others as who they really are. Children of our Heavenly Father. Sons and daughters that are precious beyond imagining. Kind of like when you see a baby or a little toddler, no matter who they are, you can't help but love them. Why is it harder to do this with adults? It's my new resolve to love everyone, no matter what color, how dirty or ignorant, and how rude they are to me.
So, when I start complaining about someone, or saying I hate them. Slap me! Don't let me get away with it.

Another thing, once I started thinking about this, I realized, nothing else matters. We may be totally in love with that certain movie star, we know how old he is, where he was born, whether he looks best with short hair, brown hair, whiskers, no whiskers, or whatever, but when Christ comes again, where will that put us? All of the sudden the fanatical things that people worry about dim and fade away. I don't know whether Christ looks better with a beard or not, and really, I don't care. I just know that I love him! He is my awesome older brother who thinks I'm worth enough to pay for my sins, and die for me. He did this because he wants to be with me forever. He wants me to be happy. What better person is there?

I am a child of God! I've been singing about it all my life, and now, finally, 21 years, seven months, 16 days, 21 hours, and 49 minutes later, it's sinking in, and this time, I hope it sticks.