Today I feel regret, again. I keep thinking about a year and a half ago when my mom reminded me one summer day to write to my brother in Iraq. I was in her office, already on a computer, and it would've taken two minutes to write a quick hello. Of course I didn't, and the next day we were told that he had been KIA. For two minutes I gave up the chance to tell my brother how much I loved and admired him. I remember a time in my life when there were no regrets. Everything I had done up to that point, even the mistakes, had gotten me to where I was, and I was happy with it.

I would give anything to have those two minutes of my life back.

So after much brainraking I finally made it back onto this site. I don't even know what password worked! The joys of having so many!

I was going through all my older posts and laughing at the great memories. I miss the college days! Not the classes at all, but my roommates for sure! And the laughs we had. We did some pretty crazy stuff....

But, I just thought I'd post and at least remind myself (as I read my posts later because I think I'm the ONLY one that does that...) that I still know this site exsists... Hmmm..

Well, so much for the trying to be a better blogger idea!

I'm at work and about ready to fall asleep! I hate day light savings time, and working at six the next morning is hard! Especially when I'm trying to get used to the fact that I have to work at six in the first place. It's a handy thing...

The best part about working this early is I have no one to talk to. From five to about nine.... No one else is up! It's so aggrivating. But oh well... I guess it's good to be working!

I finally got that other job I've been gonna get since I moved home ( ten months ago)! I guess I'm finally feeling like I can handle life again, or at least accept what's happened and move on and resume becoming who I was before life got interrupted. I still have days that are hard, but their becoming more few and more far inbetween. I love having the gospel... As hard as everything has been and is, I can't imagine what it would be like without the knowledge.

Well, first day of offical nursing school today. I still don't know for sure if I'm going to survive it, but we'll see. I'm definitely going to try!



I am not sure what to write about. I haven't written anything good enough to ost lately, actually, I haven't written anything lately. I should change that. I really don't have time though, if I'm not a class I'm doing homework, and if I'm not doing homework, I am at work, and if I'm not there, I am sleeping. Sleep is an excellent way to escape from the world by the way.



Well.... Since I don't have much to say, I'll just say this- life can be busy, but that doesn't mean you still can't be absolutely insane! Love, peace, and Peanut M&M's all!

You know, sometimes I wonder if life will ever get easier. There are some days where I think I have it fantastic, but others I just want to lay down, and cry. There have been days that I have done just that.

How do you deal with the loss of a brother? And especially when it's one serving in Iraq, killed by the same people he's trying to help liberate. It's almost been two months since we heard the news, and it still hasn't sunk in. We went to Arlington National Cemetary to bury him, and even after seeing his flag draped coffin, I can't believe he's gone. Just like that. The idea that one you love can be there one minute, and gone the next makes me physically ill.

Today I took my mom in for blood work. We found out last year that she had a coupe of tumors in her uterous that needed to be removed, but for reasons I can't remember right now, she never had it done. She finally called the specialist she'd been talking to, and they have scheduled a pre-op appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Since she can't drive right now, I am the lucky one that gets to take her. She refuses to tell my father, because he was one of the reasons she didn't get this taken care of earlier, until she needs to be taken to surgery Wednesday morning. My parents aren't the greatest example of what a marriage should be. Obviously. She has charged me not to tell anyone, and ready to explode with the news and the need to get my feelings out, here I am, at a blog I haven't visited for months. Sorry about that by the way my blog. I am a neglectful person. I've taken to writing in a journal when I need to vent. It's handy actually, since the internet isn't always there for me when I need it. Back to my story. What will I do if something goes wrong? If these tumors are malignant and I loose another person I love. I am still dealing with the death of my brother, who, concequintly, was followed not 24 hours later by my great- grandmother. It's confusing...

Well, I need to go, work calls and what can they do without their only supervisor... Hopefully they find someone else to fill the job! Adios!